Nameless

I'm Home

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 23:32:16 GMT

No more strange Boy.
No more bumping into people randomly.
No more people running into my room every few minutes.
No more videos.
No more drunken silliness.
No more hurting myself laughing.
No more Tom :(

I'm going to miss him. A lot. :(

But hey.. I'm home. Who wants to do something? :)
Participation limited due to being on antibiotics (can't drink, or shouldn't..) and also weather-dependent, but I will do my best :)

These are my confessions

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:03:47 GMT

And just when I thought I said all I could say
My chick on the side said she got one on the way
These are my confessions
If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all
I damn near cried when I got that phone call
I'm so throwed, I don't know what to do
But to give part 2 of my

Better stand strong when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby don't back down

These are my confessions
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
These are my confessions
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life

Artie is actually a much better singer than Finn, but Finn is always used as the lead, probably because he's waaaaay hotter, and a kid in a wheelchair isn't much to look at really.

Doing it for the LOLZ

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:45:17 GMT

Last night was the big one-off charity gig run by our course. Loads of people in my year performed, and they were brilliant.

I basically ended up pulling some guy. He was cute.. Actually, very cute.. But a little ..odd. And erm, well, the upshot is, he's not on our course but he's friends with someone who i know on my course... And everyone saw us kissing. Including my tutors.

LOL.

Mortifying or what? I was ribbed this morning "trust you to pull someone five foot away from Tom (tutor) at the bar" lol true to be fair.

They have 3 weeks to get over it, though.

I wasn't even 'sposed to be drunked (on antibiotics; paying for it today though), but he bought me all my drinks, and I had a free dinner. Lol, good times.

Oh yeah, the best part? At one point I made him laugh, and I did a double-take like "I know that laugh?!" and it hit me that he reminds me of The One Who Got Away. Then I nearly died once I realised who he was so similar to. I'm only like, just a little bit in love with him. *squee* haha.

Anyway, yes. Weird, right? Really, really weird. I think I liked him more after I noticed his mannerisms are eerily similar to The One.

I couldn't feel less Christmassy

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 19:33:32 GMT

And more like I want to cry, if I tried.

EDIT: The christmas dinner went fine. Am very full, and now have jelly willies.

I don't think I care about this course anymore. I know that next year I will probably end up arguing with one of my teachers (because he's an utter wanker and is shit at teaching) and I dunno, maybe they'll kick me out or something.

I just don't give a fuck anymore.

All you want from me are three little words

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 23:03:01 GMT

But you just get me laughing - a quiet sound
I know I'm with you now, but this all might end
So save all the "I love you"s and let's not pretend
Cause you won't hear it now,
And you won't hear it then
I love you, no
We couldn't even start
Before we reach the end

Update:

* I got a good mark on my radio newsday. 2:1 (a low one admittedly but..)
* The interview went fantastically. Felix was very lovely. I submitted the final feature today, and I hope it's okay. I struggled with it, to be honest. Depending on what gets submitted, I will write another feature for a website, I think.
* I finished my radio feature, just need to burn it to CD now.. And print off the script, and get the interview release form. *looks at pile of papers all over room* Lol..funtimes trying to find that aye!

Ummm, some other stuff... CBA to think and write. I wanted to speak to him earlier but I couldn't. Probably for the best.

Needless to say

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 17:43:08 GMT

I won't chase up this story, there's too many ethical issues, and maybe some lawful ones too, and I'm not well-versed enough (witness the lack of law NCTJ's despite taking 3 exams last year) to know what I'm doing.

I am tempted to tip off the Mail or the Sun but can I be bothered to do it... Thing is, I think it should be reported because it IS very dodgy... I'm just not in a position to contend with it, to know whether to report it to the police (is it even a police matter?!) or who to speak to. I've spoken to Dan, who didn't seem to think it was an issue, and I was told by the guy on Friday to speak to this girls parents.. But that's impossible, really. How do I say I've got the number?

So, it shall lie dormant.

In other news, I had a really nice afternoon with a bunch of old people (well, not old...30+ I would say) running around playing silly games. One of them, who I find oddly attractive, was really competitive, and kept tackling people... Ended up smacking me in my left tit.. Which hurt. ¬_¬

I went with Tom and he's been telling his friend about it. I'm not sure if he realises how serious I am about this, but if one of his fuckwit friends come along, I am not fucking going. I don't think he realises that everything we ever did together has now been gatecrashed by his girlfriend or our other housemates. I never do anything with him alone anymore. In fact I rarely see him these days. It's shit.

I am the lightning

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 23:16:23 GMT

I am the heat,
I am the rain.
Rain, rain, rain all day.
I am the rain.
I'm gonna reign this way again.
I am the rain.
I am the spy before the blade.
I am the raindrop out at sea.
I cause the ripples that become the crashing waves..
I am the rain.
Rain, rain, rain all day.
I am the rain.

The self-loathing begins

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 03:16:05 GMT

I feel numb.

... I am really beginning to resent my life. Lifestyle? I don't know what the difference is, or which one I hate. All I know is I don't like *it* anymore.

It's my own fault, though.

Meh. :(

Apathy

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 19:52:23 GMT

I didn't realise but I slept all day today, so I haven't even seen daylight... Which is somewhat disturbing.

I feel oh-so-very-ill. Meant to be editing this 45 minutes worth of audio into 1 minute 45 seconds. Simon reckons it's impossible, but I say PAH! Anything is possible :) It will just be like a version of hell that's never been realised before.

As for the news story yesterday... Dan doesn't think it's a go-er. Well, he said he'd sleep on it and think about it but wasn't sure whether it would sell. Admittedly I haven't really done my best in helping him out there. I started writing an article about it but it's horrible writing about yourself in third person, so I gave up. I may write it later, in first person. But then that sounds like I'm a fucking dickhead. Either way it sounds stupid.

Oh and just to say that the third person/first person thing sounds like I think a story about myself will sell to the papers...LOL... No. There are several strands to this story. One of them involves me. One of them involved paedophiles (well, potentially) ... Hence I thought it would be a national story? But Dan seems to think it'll be more of a local one. Which I think is ridiculous - it's not happening in our area, and it's not happening in London either. So it's not a local story at all as far as I can see... Nevermind, though. I have to see this dude on Friday and speak to him about whether or not it's a good story.

Like I said before, it doesn't really matter that much as to when I do it, cos I'm just sitting on the story and I could well choose to not say anything at all, and no one would know.

Reluctance

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 18:20:29 GMT

A few things have happened and I'm meant to go back home today. I should be there now, really.

For the first time that I can remember, I don't want to actually go home. It seems too much hassle... Everything I have is here... My friends need me...

I don't wanna go back really. Still undecided as to whether or not to catch a late train or just go tomorrow. Will I be in a better mood tomorrow?

*Sigh*

I just feel like when I get there, I will be bored. I have no games to play on the computer, no films to watch.. Jess isn't even there so I can't make some sort of fun out of pissing someone off.

But if I go back tomorrow then I'll have to walk home. With a huge fuckoff bag.
:(

Hehehehe

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 22:07:01 GMT

It looks like this:

I still look fat but it's better than usual ^_^

I won't look AS hot...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:39:47 GMT

But:

Is mine, as from Thursday. And it actually fitted me quite well. Next Monday we're going to the pub dressed up in our slutty outfits, gonna be IMMENSE.

I'msoexcited!

Threesomes aside

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:03:07 GMT

I realise I'm being incredibly unproductive, so here's a list of things I gotta do today:

1. ~~Write in my production blog (ARGH)~~
2. ~~E-mail Tom RE: production blog~~
3. ~~Find more research for essay.~~
4. ~~Get up to 1,500 words on aforementioned essay.~~ (Sunday)
5. ~~Edit CV and send off to that weird woman~~
6. ~~E-mail my tutor RE: my radio feature~~
7. ~~Unblock shower drain~~
8. ~~Print off stuff from work experience that I've done online~~ (scan in as well?)
9. Clean room
10. ~~Wash up~~
11. Wash clothes?
12. ~~Shower.~~
13. ~~Finish essay!!~~ [Added Monday] - YAY :D
14. ~~Attempt to clean bathroom~~ [Added Monday]
15. ~~Start cleaning kitchen~~ [Added Monday]

Note how personal hygiene comes last. That's dedication for you.

Edit @ 9.10pm: I totally failed. Feel very unwell, want to sleep :(

Edit Monday 12.43pm: List carried over to today, cos I've done 1,872 words and need to get 700 more done by tonight, so I can go to the Ann Summer's party upstairs :)

Yeah sure

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:37:54 GMT

Just arrange a threesome with me in it and not tell me.

WTAF? Do I not get a say in it? (Which would be "er, no, fuck off") Why would you assume that someone wants to have a threesome with you? Genuinely what the fuck. I should probably be flattered but I feel quite disgusted (and yet amused). Hahaha.

And apparently it was all my idea... God some people chat so much bullshit, it's unbelievable.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:18:10 GMT

I hate borrowing; I hate crowded places; I hate not being able to find things; I hate bright lighting; I hate not being able to relax. The library is genuinely my idea of hell.

I can't find the name of a fear of libraries.

The fear is falling away

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:25:30 GMT

On a mission

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:43:25 GMT

To shag an archaeologist by the end of this year.

Today was insane.
I don't quite know how, but I ended up being the editor for the first practise news day. To be perfectly honest with you, I spent most of the morning freaking out, making awful decisions but the first bulletin was AWESOME and came together really well in the end - the second one was a complete mess. Mainly because people didn't actually re-edit their stories, so I was changing them at like five to 3, or people were late in sending it to the ENPS, so I didn't know how much time we had to work with. Oh, and our Sports Desk guy wrote a one minute piece when I specifically told him to cut it down to 30 seconds. GAH. I ended up dropping two stories literally last minute, but then they got read out anyway. What.A.Mess.

Thing is, though, it's always the hardest to do the most important job on the first week. You have no experience to go on. And given that I had a massive hangover, and felt more like dying than going through everyones copy and checking it was all okay/sourcing stories/making editorial decisions, I am really pleased with myself. OH, and basically I was producer AND editor AND reporter for the day (- W T F ?) because the producer didn't do any of her jobs she was meant to do.

It's annoying as well because as editor for the bulletins, anything that goes wrong is automatically your fault. So, I was hungover, completely not prepared for doing one bulletin, let alone two with just over an hour in between. But, you know, I'm really proud. It came together for the most part, I reckon.

The feedback was good. Apparently we had a good idea of what our audience was. Why was that, group? OH YEAH, cos I decided to run stories that everyone else didn't want to put in. Alzheimer's, doorstep scammers and railway stations baby!

Luke seems to think he'd be a better editor than me. Well, I'd like to see how well he does when he's still drunk/hanging, and has no idea what he's doing :)

Don't understand.

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:24:46 GMT

Lack of comprehension on the David Kelly front.

This is not good. I have 4 days.

Ooooohhhhh..

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:44:02 GMT

I can't decide if I am still drunk/hungover/stoned, or if this is what feeling normal feels like, because I've forgotten. :/

Haha, anyway yesterday was quite good (until, you know, I decided 7 sambuca's was a good idea..) and after a nightmare journey where I nearly murdered two small children, I'm back home. It's still cold, and I haven't seen anyone at all...Guess they're all out.

One good thing that happened, was on the train yesterday, I began writing my essay on the whole David Kelly thing. It's looking alright, actually. I just need to think of more conflicting ethical issues arising out of revealing your sources..

Mmm also, Simon is shockingly beautiful, I'm not sure if I'm glad I was right or not. I can be satisfied that I was right, but it's annoying. Hahaha.

Right ok.

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:41:27 GMT

So I lost interest in the tampon story, and the royals, and the phone tapping scandals, and I couldn't find anything on princess diana's photos of her body, nor George Michael and his toilet incident (though I fear I hadn't actually been using the search function to it's fullest ability, and basically was just limiting my search terms by accident)

Decided, if I can figure out exactly why it's unethical and why it's such a big problem, that I'm going to do the whole David Kelly/Hutton Report thing. I understand the importance of not revealing your sources in general, but I don't understand what he actually said to Gilligan that made him kill himself. Was it national security stuff? If anyone can shed some light that'd be great... I'm still trying to figure it all out, to be honest.

Ah. Right. Found it - wikipedia is my friend :)

I have one of the most powerful research tools

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:01:45 GMT

At my disposal, and yet I still can't find the article where it was revealed that Prince Charles said he wanted to be a tampon.

I need it for my work. :(

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 14:59:39 GMT

My email got hacked, or something. Some dickwad sent off spam from my account.

And the weather is making me feel really depressed. I hate winter. I should probably go and see a doctor, but you know, I'll get the same old bollocks I suppose. I dunno - is the system failing me, or am I failing myself?

Aww.

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:52:59 GMT

Aren't you JUST adorable? ^_^

Hm.

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:22:00 GMT

I'm really really really angry.

I wanted to smash my guitar up. But it's nice.

So I just decided to delete a load of people from facebook. You know, people who you meet and you're like oooh cool lets add eachother on facebook and then you realise you will never see eachother again, or people who you don't like but got guilt tripped into adding, in the misguided belief that you might like them more when they're on your friends list.

I also deleted my prliveson account.

I'm tempted to delete this, tbh. I'm fucking sick of everything. And I hope Ben really hurts himself. (I was going to say 'dies a horrible death' but to be fair that's really awful; I'll just settle for him breaking his leg)

Now to cry and sleep.

Woo. =|

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 08:49:08 GMT

I couldn't be less enthusiastic about dragging my arse out of bed today.

Youth programme day. We have to do it live; we have no script. We don't even have a title for the programme, let alone graphics for the titles and credits - which I said I would be happy to do, but it's too late now. Although from what my group told me, we're going over the time of 5 minutes, to about 7. How this happens I don't know. All I know is that I'm anticipating a huge argument along the lines of me justifying exactly why I've done sweet fuck all.

Where do I start - at the point where I was working on my package, which is worth 4 times more than the youth show, and thus a priority for me in terms of marks? I mean, what's the point in putting effort into a group project when your individual one is due in the day after, and is worth 20% as opposed to 5%, and you need to get it done.

Or do I begin at the point where I tried to contribute, Ben wouldn't let me (with the whole "I'm not your mum", "I'm too busy to click a button but not too busy to argue with you for ten minutes" facebook thing), and then when I was actually around to help out, nobody listened to me..?

Because yeah, once again, nobody has any set roles. And I don't mean to sound funny, but you don't see at the end of T4 "Programme created by *list of names*", they all have their own roles so they KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. I've been banging on about having set roles for a decent fucking reason, but nobody wanted to listen. Once again.